Controversial Header

I had an interesting conversation with a reader of my blog the other day. This gay-LDS-reader from California expressed his views of... I'm not even sure. Whether he wanted to stay celibate or marry a woman, I have no idea but regardless, he did not agree with my plans for my future.
The conversation started nice enough but quickly turned bitter. However I do have to admit that this mystery reader did make a good point:

"I find it a bit odd that you have this really hot almost naked guy as your chat title and it says "A young gay Mormon trying to find his way." Are you really trying to find your way or have you figured it out and now just trying to get enough support to believe what you want vs. what you may still believe but that doesn't really go in line with what you feel? If I may be so bold as to ask?"

Alright. Here I go. First off, yes I do have a hottie at the top of my blog. In fact if you haven't noticed yet I change my Header Man on the first of every month. I figure this is like a magazine and it deserves a new "cover" each month.

Yes the subtitle of my blog does say "A young gay Mormon trying to find his way." I chose those words very carefully. I wanted to express who I am and what I'm doing here in the blog-o-sphere.

Am I trying to find my way or have I already figured it out? I believe that for the most part, I know the course that my life will take. I have spent years deliberating and trying to figure out what I, and the Lord, feel would be best for me and my future. I've thought about changing that subtitle, now that my future path has become more clear, but am I done trying to find my way? Absolutely not. I still have many more years (hopefully) to live and with that will come struggles, trials and road blocks. Life is a journey and we are all trying to find the way. I'm taking it one step at a time, with my head up and looking ahead.

Yes, I do like getting comments that give me support. I admit it! But not so that I can "believe what I want to." We as humans LOVE to be affirmed. We like having a sense of community. People like talking and listening to others who have similar struggles, beliefs, culture, and even sexual attractions. The reader that posed this question goes to church every week to be affirmed (or as he put it "believe what he wants to") and I blog.

That last part makes me giggle. I assure you that what I believe goes right in line with what I feel, and vice versa. If I didn't know for sure that what I'm doing was the best thing for me, why would I do it? Because I like losing the positive relationships that I had with my family? Because I like knowing that my "friends" are talking badly about me? Or maybe its just because I like all of the attention. Those of you that know me, on a personal level, know that I am highly social but do not enjoy being the center of attention. It makes me quite uncomfortable and anxious. I do know what is best for me. In spite of all of the shit that comes along with being openly gay, I get to be happier than I ever have been too. That makes up for everything else.