A Very Marry Christmas

Todd and I decided to spend Christmas Eve at home alone. We had already been to several holiday parties in the past few weeks and we decided we wanted some alone time. A couple of Christmas movies, homemade Chinese food, and go to bed early. It sounded like the perfect evening for a couple of old guys like us.

The Christmas season is my favorite time of year. Starting November 1st I will start begging those I live with to let me set up the Christmas tree. I've got the cinnamon spice candles, pre-lit garland, and old school Christmas CDs; everything to ring in the holidays. Our little apartment looked like Christmas had thrown up on it.

Surprises are the only thing I can't stand about the season. I love gifts as much as the next kid, but the flashy packages sitting under the tree with my name on them for over a month, is more than I can stand. The frustration and worry of knowing something is coming gives me ulcers.

Todd knows this about me, and loving to see me squirm, he took full advantage of the opportunity Christmas provided. Presents from him started appearing the day after the tree went up.

I did pretty good at not harassing him to let me open presents early, but Todd knew the anticipation was killing me.

After or Christmas Eve dinner we went to the living room to enjoy the heat of the fireplace, when he turned to me and said, "Hey, Babe. Would you want to open a present tonight?"

I felt that he was probably just taunting me, but I still replied, "YES!"

He had me sit on the couch and I made him promised to pick a good one for me to open. He picked a large blue and white bag off of the table next to the tree. I started unwrapping it the moment he set it in my hands. I knew it was a good one, because he had used about 100 sheets of tissue paper and 1/2 a role of tape to conceal the gift.

When I finally got it unwrapped my throat seized up. I tried to "man-up" but the tears came streaming down my face anyway. There was a toy elephant like any that you might buy for a child. Hooked on its trunk was a simple silver ring.

It was corny, cheap and cliche... and it was everything I ever wanted.

"Hey, Babe. Would you want to marry me?"

It was the same way and same day that my father had proposed to my mother almost 40 years ago.

The sentiment of it all overwhelmed me so the only way I could reply was with a big kiss. I was the happiest man in the world in that moment and completely melted when he smiled and asked for a verbal reply. "Yes, of course," is all I could get out

This summer I get the chance to marry (legally {whether it's recognized everywhere or not}) the man I love. We are taking the first big step in starting our family. We are doing what we know is right. I cannot wait to grow old with this man. The challenges I'm presented with seem marginal and manageable with his hand in mine. I love him more than myself or anyone else.  There is no one I would rather have by my side as we enjoy the adventures on the journey through life.

Once Upon A Time...

On one hand, I can't believe it took me so long to meet Todd. There were hundreds of times that I was less mile away from him and had no idea that the man of my dreams was so close.

On the other hand, it's kind of amazing that we met at all.... 


We lived forty miles away from each other, went to different colleges, had completely different majors, hung out with totally different groups of people; in short, we had no reason to ever cross paths. 

I had recently come out, or rather come out again and my family wasn't taking it super well. I had made plans to move to Seattle in a few months and a long distance relationship was not an option for me. I really was not interested in getting into something serious. 

Until Mark intervened. 

I got on my computer late one Sunday and saw I had a message from some guy named Todd. It said, "Mark asked if I knew who you were. I don't." I remember reading it twice, confused and thinking, "If we don't know each other then why did you message me, you weirdo?" I immediately did what any young person today would do and looked through all of his Facebook photos. At least he was a cute weirdo...

I decided that I might be interested. I checked first with Mark to make sure he wasn't a serial killer, and then began trying to talk to Todd. Talking to him proved to be difficult however. 

Todd was in school, the designer on two theatre sets, preparing for a read thru of the musical he'd just finished composing, working in the university scene shop, teaching piano lessens, teaching voice lessens, playing piano for an LGBT choir, and playing piano for a musical theatre class. He had a lot on his plate.

We chatted off and on for a few days and we seemed to click, but how much can you really judge chemistry over an online chat? So I got him to ask me on a date :)

We made plans to see a show he'd designed the following week, however we continued to talk over the next couple of days and found that neither of us wanted to wait any longer to meet in person. So on Sunday, April 26th, five days before our first date was supposed to take place, I drove over to Todd's with what was left of a cheesecake I had made for family dinner that night. It was about nine in the evening when I pulled into his parking lot. I'd left family dinner early and he'd just gotten home from playing the piano at a choir sectional. 

I called him when I got there so he could tell me where to park. That was the first time I heard his voice and I remember thinking how crazy I was to go to a complete stranger's house. I thought about how this was sort of the new age blind date; being set up by a friend and not meeting the person until the first date."If he turns out to be a freak I'm going to kill Mark."

Todd was standing in the parking lot when I arrived, and he motioned to where I should park. I was really nervous and wanted to make sure I parked perfectly the first time, but I was also trying to see what he looked like. It didn't help that someone had left their fast food litter in my parking spot. So after failing once, I backed out and tried again, ever alert that Todd was smiling and watching all of this. I got out and saw I could have still done a better job, but there was no way I was going to try a third time. I would have forgotten all this except that Todd's first words to me were, "If it weren't for the Jack in the Box litter, I'd give you crap about your parking skills."

His apartment was very clean except for some boxes and bags in the living room. He explained that he had a new roommate moving in that week and apologized for the mess. After some awkward small talk we sat on his couch and watched Arrested Development: Season 2 on his computer. He seemed to get more comfortable, so I made a move and put my arm around him. He sunk into my chest for about two minutes and then jumped up to get us some water. My fear that I'd been too forward was confirmed when he came back and sat on the opposite side of the couch. I felt like a total moron and kept thinking how I could leave without being totally awkward. 

As an episode was ending, and I was coming up with the right words to say goodbye, Todd turned and snuggled back up to me. The ice was broken. We talked about our families and how we came out, while the next couple of episodes played in the background. We turned our attention back to the show for a moment, and then Todd turned back to me, didn't say a word, and we kissed. It was just a little kiss, but I completely dissolved in that moment.

We watched a few more episodes and ate all the cheesecake I brought.

We also talked. A lot.

I knew that I really liked him and  I didn't want to fall any harder for him if  he didn't meet the standards I'd set for myself. Fortunately he surpassed my expectations, but in order to find that out, we had to have some deep conversations. We talked about religion, spirituality, sexuality, communication, ect. Even looking back I'm surprised at how much we discussed on that first date.
I finally left his house at 3 a.m. I was exhausted the next day, but I was still giddy. I remember even telling my brother about it while we were working. 

I have seen Todd every day since then (with technology today we can see each other even when we are apart :)

I'm glad that we can still talk about everything, the hard things and the fun things.

I still wake up giddy knowing that he's there for me. 

I love him. 

He's my top priority. 

If life is a journey, there is no one I'd rather travel through it with. 

Quilt of Guilt?

Some kids growing up wanted a puppy, or bike. I wanted a denim quilt. 


My Grandma makes these really heavy denim quits made out of old jeans. They are super warm and really big. They also take a really long time to make, so we have the opportunity to earn two of these in our lifetime.


For the first quilt you can: A) Be a male and serve a mission. OR B) Be a female and graduate high school.


For your second quilt you can: A) Get married. OR B) Be 40 years old and still single.


Being the youngest in my family, I saw my siblings get their quilts long before I was ever even eligible. I was a pretty persistent kid, and I used to harass my Grandma (probably a bit too much) to give me my quilt early. She would just laugh at me and promise me that I'd get mine when my time came. 


Fast-forwarding through time... I planned on going on a mission... I had my first experience with a boy... I came out to my parents... My plans for a mission got squashed.... I graduated high school.


I was surprised that my grandma came to my graduation. I was even more surprised when she handed me a big duffle bag with a denim quilt in it. I was MOST surprised however, when I unrolled the quilt to see, "Elder Austin Kempton" embroidered in the corner.


For the first few months I refused to sleep with the quilt. It immediately sent me into a depression; thinking of how I didn't meet the expectations of those who loved me. As winter came though, I was in need of a heavy quilt to keep me warm at night (Yes, I know I live in AZ and it doesn't get that cold here, but my parents refuse to turn on the heater in winter, so it felt like I was living in an igloo.) so I went and got the quilt. 
That night I had a realization that my grandma really loved me. The wording on the corner wasn't an expectation for me. Those words were just was her way of supporting me in my goals. She thought the mission was a goal of mine, so she put "Elder" but if she knew my goal was to go to UW there would have been a Husky embroidered there.


As I was making the bed this morning, and Todd pulled the corner up on that quilt, all I could think about was if I would be getting a second quilt. I don't say that out of greed or entitlement. I just honestly wonder if my Grandma will be accepting enough to make a quilt for me when I get married to a man. 


There's only one way to know. 


I need to talk to my Grandma this week.