Who's Confused?

I'm in California this week. Just before I left though, my parents tried to explain why they didn't want me to bring my boyfriend to Sunday Family Night Dinner.
"We are concerned. I mean the kids (my siblings) are just worried about... well you know. We just worry that the boys (my nephews) will... get confused."

Really? Do they think that I'll be making out with my boyfriend/fiance/husband at the dinner table? I DO hate the idea of having to hide my love for my significant other when my siblings don't have to. I feel like pretending that we are "room mates" or "best friends" only makes it seem like I condone the intolerance and prejudices that gays are fighting so hard to over come.
BUT I'm not a disrespectful twat. I want to be involved in my nieces' and nephews' lives. If that means that I have to live the "room mate" lie, then so be it. Even though I feel it is totally wrong to do that (it makes it seem like I am ashamed or embarrassed of who I am, the form my love takes, who I love, and what my life is), I can't control the way my siblings raise their children or what they want to "Shield" their children from. My choice then becomes whether I want to be involved in their lives or be forced out.

Really!? What kind of confusion are they talking about?
Do they think that I will cause my nephews to be gay? If that is what they meant, then they really still do not get why gay men are gay. I thought they were beyond this point. If my nephews (or nieces for that matter) view a healthy and happy relationship between my partner and I, that will not change their sexual orientation. I was not exposed to any gay relationships growing up. Guess what! I'm still gay. And being gay is not the same as being curious.
Do they think that I will cause my nephews to be sexually curious? If this is what they meant then they don't understand where curiosities come from. This is in Psychology 101.
We as humans are curious about things that we don't understand. Hearing about, having impersonal interactions, or brief encounters with something (gay relationships) a persons curiosity will peek. This is due to a mystification that is caused by having a distance from, or ignorance of, this same something (gay relationships). If we gain information or have a close relationship with this something (gay relationships) however, we demystify the topic and extinguish the curiosity.
In other words my nephews are growing up in a more accepting time period. They will hear about gay relations and have more potential to be curious about trying gay sex, than if I were open and my relationship was just accepted.
Do they think that I will cause my nephews to question what is right and what is wrong? Who cares? This is my life. You cannot know what I'm going through. I try to deal with what's mine the best I know. I live the way I know that I should. I'm sorry if you think that I should be living differently. It is a parents job to teach their children in their home, what they have interpreted to be right and wrong. So how long do you teach your children that your family is perfect, and that we don't have ANY disagreements on what is right and what is wrong? Reality is going to be quite a shock. It will be hard to explain why it is wrong for Uncle Austin to be married to a man and yet he is happy. I would prefer that they just tell their kids that it is wrong that I got married outside of the temple, but then I'm not the only one in the family with fault.
Do they think that my marriage would confuse them? All of my sisters have been married outside of the temple. Are my nieces and nephews being taught that those marriages are less important, and not as good? I was happy for all of my sisters when they got married. At times I truly felt that they were ruining their lives, but I had to wave away that thought, because they were happy. (Never did I question if it was "true-happiness", because it is not my place to determine whether or not someone else is TRULY HAPPY or not.) I was happy for them.
When my cousin Brad got married my parents took me to the wedding. It was in a beautiful not-LDS church somewhere. I was happy for my cousin and enjoyed the service and reception afterwards. When we went home that night my parents taught me their beliefs about marriage. So because mine will involve two grooms is it that much different than that situation?
Bottom line: Life IS confusing. If you think that my beliefs, clashing with your beliefs, will confuse your child, then be a good parent and try to guide them the best you can. But in the end the child will get to choose what he or she interprets to be right and wrong and that is not my fault.

REALLY!?!? Do you know what it would have been like for me to have someone to go to when I was learning to accept my sexuality? I would have given anything to have someone to talk to. Once Tiffani was gone I have no one in my life that understood what I was going through. I felt so much self-hatred, needless shame, and fear. I had this dream scenario of an actively gay and LDS man coming to tell me that I wasn't broken. I needed this affirmation-man so badly. I doubt that I would have turned to my first boy in High School and had sex. I didn't want to have sex; I wasn't super sexually curious. All I wanted was this affirmation-man to let me know that my God still loved me. That I was perfect just the way that I was. My first boy was able to tell me those things.
If by some chance one of my nephews turns out to be gay too, I hope to God that I am there and close enough to him, that I can be that affirmation-man for him. I would want to tell him that his life IS worth living, and I know that because I've been where he is.

Really family? Really.