I'm So Lucky!

I really am.

I have an unbelievable family. It seems that I only whine about the times that they make me want to cry and go away but in actuality they are amazing.

This weekend a friend of mine stayed with me. A gay friend. My parents were very cool about it. I could tell that it was very awkward for them, but they let him stay there and were very gracious hosts. My parents are really trying to understand and accept who I am. I'm so thankful for this. This weekend they actually took a step to support me. They are amazing.

My mom was concerned that my siblings wouldn't be as understanding and supportive, so in an effort to eliminate drama, she suggested that we cancel our standard Sunday-Family-Dinner while my guest was in town. I got really upset without thinking. I just kept imagining Christmas parties and Thanksgiving dinner being canceled years down the road when I get married, so that mom could shield the family from my gayness. Never did I think about how my mom was really trying to protect me from my siblings.

So Sunday-Family-Dinner went on as usual. I am so glad that it did. I think it was eye opening for everyone. My friend played with the little ones, helped my sisters out, and joined in conversations. My family's reaction to him was more than I could have hoped for. They were genuinely kind and appreciative of him. They never interrogated him but instead spoke to him as if he was one of the family from the moment that they walked in the door.

I have friends that have been disowned for being gay. I have other friends who's families have sent them to psych wards or treatment centers to stop the gayness. I even have a friend who's own brother has tried to kill him for being gay.
Yet all I tend to focus on are my friends who have amazingly understanding supportive families, and whine about the fact that my family isn't quite there yet. But the fact of the matter is they do love me. They love me so much that they are concerned they won't get to spend the rest of eternity with me. As unfounded as this worry of theirs is, it shows that they really do care about me. That's something huge.

In June I'm moving away to Seattle, WA. I’m not running away. I didn’t wait, move away, and then inform the family of my plans for my future. I’m not moving away to avoid or escape my family. It is time though, for me to get away. I can't live under my parents' roof for ever. I need to be an independent decision maker. School has given me the opportunity to do so. The plan is to do one year at Seattle Central, become a Washington State resident in that year, then transfer to University of Washington. The campus is beautiful, they have a great psychology program, and its about 1,555 miles from my house.

My parents are not excited about this idea. They would like me to live at the house forever and keep me out of trouble. I'm think I'm pretty lucky that they still want me around.